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Posts Tagged ‘threesome’


I should have seen it coming. When you’re poly and in you’re in a relationship with a mono then you’re on borrowed time. Once again I’ve been cast aside to make way for a potential “real” relationship. It was inevitable. My friend with benefits, who I’ll call Sally, has been actively scouring the dating sites for some time now in search of “the one” and has been enjoying what I would call a solo poly amorous lifestyle in the meantime. She had been seeing different guys, including me, on a casual basis but always made it clear that she harbored the fairytale of finding the perfect mate that she could settle into a long-term monogamous relationship with.

It turns out that Sally had met up with a guy through the internet and spent a wonderful weekend with him. She explained to me that as much as she enjoyed our time together she felt that this guy might have some serious potential and she wasn’t prepared to risk losing him by exposing her extra curricular activities to him. Sally knows my wife and we are all friends and I’d say that her eyes have definitely been opened up since becoming involved with me. We even enjoyed a threesome together. As much as she has been prepared to challenge her own beliefs and values by venturing into new sexual territory she doesn’t feel comfortable bringing that into a brand new relationship with someone whom she assumes wouldn’t be quite so open-minded.

So instead Sally will lock away a part of her life and show her new partner the aspects of her life that she thinks will please him rather than take the risk of him rejecting her for revealing herself honestly. I’m not judging her for this, in fact I understand why she feels this way. How many people are in relationships like this already? I don’t expect her to wave the “poly” flag in his face just because that’s my lifestyle choice.

Fortunately for me this decision hasn’t had the same heart-breaking effect that has happened previously. While I care about Sally and value her friendship neither of us developed any strong emotional attachment and our encounters were limited by distance meaning we would only get together maybe once a month if I was in town. It was good that we kept the relationship simple considering her longer term motives and we will continue to be friends. Who knows, if things don’t work out for her she may be calling me again but I’m okay either way.

This experience has reinforced my desire to seek out additional relationships though in future I will try to connect with others who identify as poly amorous and are preferably in a primary relationship of their own or are happily involved with more than one person. Like they say, it’s all about the journey, not the destination. Stay tuned!

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We talk about it. We think about it. It’s all around us every day in every way. Everywhere we turn we’re bombarded with sexual messages through various media and yet we’re somehow led to believe that sex is this sacred act of love shared only between two monogamous individuals. Forgive me if I find this a little confusing and somewhat contradictory.

I do agree that sex and love go together. It’s called ” making love”. But when you take love out of the equation it’s just sex. So what’s wrong with that? Nothing, in my opinion. Isn’t it time we all took sex a little less seriously and enjoyed it for what it is, a pleasurable physical act that can be shared with one or many or…….even alone. It’s just sex. What’s the big deal?

For years I wrestled with the guilt I felt for feeling sexually attracted to other women and even more so for entertaining elaborate fantasies. I always felt as if I was fighting nature. It made sense to me but didn’t fit at all with society’s views on sex. Like many I felt sexually repressed. This is a very unhealthy state indeed and I’m sure has a lot to do with the high rate of non-consensual sex and molestation.

It’s wonderful to feel sexually liberated and I am grateful to share my life with a woman who’s views mirror mine. We have played with other couples, single females, and I have played alone with a mutual friend with my wife’s blessing. She’s even hornier when I get home as the thought that I’ve just had sex with someone else gets her very turned on.

I’ve enjoyed watching her screaming with pleasure while being fucked by another man as much as she’s enjoyed giving me a shared blow job with her friend. If two people truly love each other then why would they want to deny the other any pleasure or fantasy they desired? Unfortunately, for all the people reading this who “get” where I’m coming from there will be just as many, if not more who will condemn me and find it all totally disgusting.

If everyone’s open and honest then why not? Everybody goes home with a smile on their face and no-one gets hurt. It’s just sex and sex is fun. Let’s all have a little fun, eh? 😉

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